Cover Letter

Cover letter
June 22, 2007


Introduction of the blog and myself

       I am Alan from Shanghai, China. This blog is my writing portfolio for the English writing course in Fudan University. Mr. Ron Corio from Virginia Commonwealth University is my instructor. Cecilia Xie, Chenny Qian and I form the peer group during the class. In addition, my classmate Young Running and I have a lot of discussion in the course. All of them help me to achieve the progress showed in the portfolio. I really appreciate their supports, without which this blog could not exist.

       Personally, I find great interest in mathematics and logics. Still, if time permits, I would rather lie on the grass and enjoy doing nothing. Maybe you want to comment on the portfolio, or you want to make a friend, feel free to contact me by emailing me at alanwang8888@sina.com. Hope you will enjoy the reading.


Analysis of the items

       I pick up the course when I am a sophomore in the Mathematics Department, hoping to learn about academic writing. Before that, my only connection with writing in English is timed-writing in the tests, such as college entrance examination. All my instructors were non-native speakers and test-oriented. So I have little knowledge about academic writing in English as I join the class in March.

       This portfolio containing five items reflects my work and improvement in the past four months during which I get familiar with and adapt myself to the formal writing style.

       We began our class by reading and commenting on five novels from The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction. Mr. Ron created an Internet classroom for us to paste our reading logs on and discuss with each other. This experience gives me an impression of what academic writing really is. And among the four reading logs, I choose the one that I made on The Grass-Eater by Krishnan Varma because it provides more original ideas than the other three. Though it contains only a sketch of ideas, it represents my original level in formal writing. Comparing with the other articles included here, it is informal and subjective.

       The next item is the third and final timed-writing in the class. It was done in the last class of the course. My style has become more nature and formal than it does in the reading log, but it reflects my shortcomings in writing. If I am asked to decide whether a point or an event is good or not, I tend to agree with both sides because I could find evidence for both and could not persuade me to be totally against or for either of them. This makes me not confident in presenting ideas. To make up this weak point, I need to think deeper into problems and try to coordinate my pros and cons to provide a neutral and logical angle.

       After the timed-writing, there are three drafts of my essay, which is the major task for the course. We spend nearly half the semester discussing, forming and improving it. The essay is about a novel we studied before. We begin by forming the thesis statement which is new concept for me. After referring to articles about thesis statement, I analyze and classify all the reading logs on the Internet classroom about the novel to form my own and first thesis statement. With the help of Mr. Ron, I make it more specific and stick to in all three drafts.

       More specifically, I build the structure for the essay in Draft One, finding three angles to support my thesis. As the class went on, I learn to provide and add the evidence for an article and develop the primitive and simple Draft One to the better-supported Draft Two. In addition, with the help from Cecilia and Chenny, I express the third angle in a more apparent way. As I do not like typing the exact sentence by the author, my Draft Two does not have too many quotations as some of my fellow students. This makes my essay more clear and concise. After digging out most language errors and making clear the ambiguous expressions in the former texts, I finish the job with Draft Three, providing an example of my level after about half a year’s study.


Comments on my writing and the course

       During the course, I recognize both advantages and disadvantages in my writing. I could present ideas in a logical and concise style, which, however, is usually carried too far to make my composition a little plain and laconic. I wish I could brighten my writing by grasping and applying more various sentence patterns and richer vocabulary

       And about this writing course, I find the Internet classroom, peer groups and free writing most helpful. Since we belong to different departments and the classes have limited time, we could only talk with two or three students for a particular topic. The Internet classroom removes the obstacle, exposes us to a great variety of ideas and makes the discussion with all the students possible. The peer groups, on the other hand, provide us more detailed and specific advice for the writing especially the essay. As for the free writing, I enjoy jotting down my thoughts without considering the grammar and transition. And for the first time in my life, I am pleased to find that this is a formal technique to develop ideas instead of being merely a bad habit of beginners.

26.5.07 01:39, comment

Essay Draft Two

Alan Wang
May 21st, 2007
Draft Two


                                             Title

     Since the pursuit of happiness is the motive the civilization to develop, people who do not have the will and strength to carry it out are often considered passive and not worth sympathy even if they are lived in poverty. In The Grass-Eaters, Krishnan Varma presented such a case: living in extreme poverty, Mr. and Mrs. Babu had to sleep in a pipe and eat grass, but he hardly complain and did not bother to change that. However, this attitude taken by Ajit Babu was a must and the best for him to achieve happiness.

     First, his misfortune was made by the society which he could do little to change that. At first, their son was died of diphtheria, a contagious infection, then, the fight between the Hindus and Muslims caused his family to flee to Calcutta during which he lost another two children. And all the other sufferings such as eating grass were due to inflation, refugees, to sum up, problems that shared by the society.

     In addition, the society put extremely big obstacles for anyone who wanted to restore order and improve the situation. In Ajit’s city, when the conductor was carrying out his duty to stop people getting up on the tram’s roof," the passengers beat him up, set fire to the tram and any other vehicles parked in the vicinity”. While at the same time, people take out processions, hold protest meetings against “British imperialism, American neo-colonialism, the central government, capitalism and socialism”, almost every political movement. Their wide-spread hatred revealed that they were doing this simply to resist any improvement.

     Second, the life would be tougher if he had not adopted such an attitude. Living in a wagon or on a roof was by no means a good experience. Babu, however, discovered that the wagon was absolutely free of charge, provided complete privacy and the roof had greater space and more ventilation---good points that would be easily denied by an insatiable man. This mind-set helped him to find merits in the worst situation which was always the source of happiness and at least felt better in the extreme poverty.

     As Ajit shared his experience with the “spherical” family, the past did not seem a burden to him. And he and his wife could “live quietly” by reaching their inner peace. With all the “events”, all kinds of misery seem ordinary to them. His attitude enabled him have no worries for tomorrow while kept him some hope: the funeral rites and their son.

     Third, Ajit was not an historic figure to lead a revolution that establishes new order. Thus, his effort to change the world would bring him nothing but handicap. He did not have the push and the desire to be such a figure. Great men in history either have unbearable pity for the suffering of the common people or possess a strong desire to exert his will. As told in the novel, Ajit became numb to other people’s experience and even content to see them suffering, while at the mean time he lost his dream and pursuit: hoping for nothing but survive.

     The lack of ambition led to their peace and quiet life. It provided them a safe harbor against the storm outside as well as cut their off from the wonderful ocean scenery. But since their ability was limited, this was quite a good choice for their life: a quiet though not perfect life.

     The society calls for hard work to change the imperfect current state. It needs heroes to choose a way for the people, unless they would “take out processions” and use their strength in vain. Apparently, Ajit was not such a hero. Surely, if everyone takes his world view, the human civilization will stop progressing and even lead to an end, but for a man like Ajit, his effort would be like the conductor: making his already hard life worse.

26.5.07 01:37, comment

Final Timed-Writing

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Alan Wang
June 21, 2007
Final Timed-Writing

Direction: From The Necklace, what might have been the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life if she had not lost the necklace? Is her life better or worse now?


       There will be another big incident deciding how Mme. Loisel lives, if she had not lost the necklace. 

       Even this event does not happen; another will inevitably come and change her future. Before the party, Loisel had come to a point that she could no longer bear her simple and ordinary life. She was angry when her husband brought back home the invitation just because she did not have a beautiful dress. Even after she got what cost him a great, she was not satisfied for having no jewels. The thirst for beauty and attractiveness made her irrational and would cause her make a change if there was any chance, whether it is the lost of the necklace.

       For instance, she may be a lover of an upper class man. From the description, the night was a great success for Loisel. After the ball, however, she found herself back to reality again: a poor clerk’s wife. The sharp contrast would make her more irritable with her unfair destiny. And as long as a gentleman made the request, she would not resist the temptation to be the center of any party again and give up her life as an ordinary woman. But as time went on, if the man was only looking for beauty, her youth would go and her life would turn to a mess and certainly no better than it is now.

       On the other hand, Mme. Loisel may find a man really loves her and lead a happy life ever after. She is a lovely woman and her personality is attractive when things turn out to be that bad. Though the society pays little attention to qualities other than property and birth, there may be a romantic, sentimental gentleman loves her at the first sight. She could become a lady and realize her dream. Even when she finally sits in a big house before the fireplace and thinks about the past, she may feel a little sad with her husband but take it merely as some unavoidable disappointment in life.

       Loisel’s life is bound to be reshaped after the dream like night. Her living standard may be up or down. Yet the life is decided by one’s character and personality. Her vanity and honest may represent the sides in her heart fighting against each other. The one wins the fight will decide her life. And the result depends on what kind of event happen after the night of destiny.

26.5.07 01:35, comment